Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Memuji Anak, Good or Bad?

I always thought praising kids is good. Boleh boost their confidence. (Hehe we wives like praises too Mr Hubbies). Biasa sangatla saya cakap kat anak-anak, especially masa dia orang kecik, Pandainye anak mama! Wow, you can draw so well! Etc etc...

But CONTINUOUS PRAISING anak bijak, anak pandai is not good for them. (Oops! What have I done?)
Patutla ibubapa dolu-dolu jarang memuji anak especially depan orang.

Menurut kajian terkini, if we want anak Harvard ke, anak Yale ke or Oxford,kita kena puji USAHA anak kita.
So,
Say: Alhamdulillah, I'm so proud of you. You must have STUDIED HARD.

Don't Say: I'm so proud of you. You are so smart.

Say: Subhanallah, you make me so happy. I know you have WORKED so hard.

Don't Say: I'm so happy God has given me such a brilliant girl!!

In the book Brain Rules for Baby, kids praised for effort constantly outscore kids praised for IQ. Memang logic la kan sebab anak yang membesar dalam suasana sebegini faham kesilapan atau kegagalan adalah kerana usaha yang tidak memadai bukan kerana kebolehan/keupayaan. They are able to face challenges and failures positively. They also do better in adult life.

So parents, kita kena ubah style puji sikit. Jom kita puji USAHA anak kita. InsyaAllah it's not too late.

2 comments:

myfreeminded said...

saya suka aje puji ank2 sbb ada baca buku motivasi tulisan Dr Fadzilah Kamsah.. :)

GOLD FINGER said...

Kak..thanks fr good info..